Kind of blah

For some odd reason I feel kind of blah today. It just seems so still and quiet in the house like there is no life here and am not really sure what to do about it. Not much worth watching on tv or on email as well, so we will see what we can get into. I hear the wind really whipping outside of the house and that lets me know that it would not be that great of an idea to go for a walk.
I started my exercise routine back this week and it has tired me out, but definitely feel better getting back into the swing of it as well.

Finally got in a ride

I finally got in a ride on my Recumbant bike this morning. I really hope I did not ride too long because my knee has really ached ever since I got off of it. I rode for 24 minutes and maybe should have gotten off at either 16 or 20. I may walk a little on the treadmill tomorrow or I might just wait until Monday and ride again but not for quite as long this time.
It really feels great to start exercising again. I did not realize how much I has missed it and basically I feel like I am starting all over again especially when it comes to the treadmill. I am sure that in time, I will be back to where I was and amybe even more. I was just bored and needed to start doing something.

I feel a little better today

I feel a little bit better today. I think I did sleep a little better and am still somewhat feeling run over but am thinking that this goes with the territory as well. I think that my mother-in-law put her finger on the fact that even though I had been sleeping, I was not really resting and ahve still too many emotions running through my head and system.
I am hoping that things are better out at the house with my dad and hopefully mom was able to get someone to stay with dad and help him during the day. The man she hired did not even show yesterday and I know that really had to be frustrating for her as well.
I am hoping that as things go on, they will even be better than they have been. I know that getting through this first year was the hardest part and we definitely survived that and that is a good things as well.

Out of gas

For some odd reason I just feel like I have run out of gas. I would dearly love to go and get on the treadmill, but the Coumedin and nurse and my dietician don't want me to until the Coumedin level is more consistent. I guess I am just bored and a little sleepy all at the same time. I could definitely go and do laundry, but I would have to get up the energy first and right now I just don't feel like taking care of it, even though it desperately needs to get done.
I was going to do it this past Saturday, but my family made sure I was out of the house since it was the anniversary of Sue's death and that might have been a really good thing in the long run.

One Year Today

I cannot believe that it has been one year since Sue passed away on me around 6:30 in the morning. I still remember tripping on her leg that was out in the bedroom and trying to make her respond to me not even having a clue that she was already dead. I still remember the awesome paramedics that came here to the house and made me talk about her while we were waiting on the coroner to arrive and how comforting that was.
I will never forget that smile and how she love me and everyone and everything unconditionally and her love for kids and teaching them. I ahve never seen anyone that could deal with kids like Sue could and wherever we were whether at church, on a Lay Witness Mission or even int he store: she related to them so well. It was such a gift that I was envious of because I will never have that. I miss her giving me a hard time and her snoring and waking me up in the middle of the night snoring and me rubbing and patting her back and butt to get her to shut up so that I could get back to sleep.
The house is definitely quieter now and definitely misses her touch because we men just don't have that touch either. I know that this is going to be a hard day but will always remember my precious angel that brought life and laughter to me.
Heaven has to be a brighter place because of her love and her smile.

tired of the ads

I am so sick of seeing Valentine's Day advertisements that I could literally scream. I guess it is really getting to me because I had so much fun sending Sue the floral arrangment I sent her last year. It wastruly fun and I would do it again in a heartbeat, but she is not here for me to deliver the goods and I just want this one stupid money making holiday to just go away.
I would love to be dating someone right now but just have not seen anyone I want to date let alone spend the rest of my life with too and I am definitely praying that that will happen soon.

A great start to the morning

I have been playing with my bike riding to really tweak my exercise routine and this morning had the longest ride I have taken in some time. My younger brother who cycles all of the time challenged me to start with a light tension and work my way up to a little tension but something comfortable that I could keep a constant speed and then bring the tension back down and went 40 minutes this morning. This is the longest I have ridden in some time and it feels great. I am really trying to tone up and figured at 40 minutes I rode approximately 15 miles and the only downside is that butt feels a little numb, but am sure that feeling will subside soon enough.
I may try getting back on the treadmill at a really slow speed in the morning just to keep my legs limber but need to be careful since I have a degenerating disc in my lower back that seems to be pinching a nerve. I have a problem walking and or standing for long periods of time because my right foot and leg get numb.
It is Monday and now I feel great and after cooling down some, it will be time to jump in the shower so I won't stink the rest of the day.