4/30/10

Really bored tonight

I am really bored tonight and am not really sure why other than the fact it is Friday and had no where to go. I know I could have done laundry but did not really feel like messing with even though I am going to have to in the morning because my favorite sports shirt that i wear to church needs to be washed so I can wear it on Sunday.
I have theNationwide race on but have paid little attention to it and that is unusual and just wish that Sue were here, but can do ntohing about that too.
I have really been praying for a girlfriend and that would be great for someone to share my life with and do things with as well and maybe in time God will send that someone that will fill my life.

4/14/10

Beginning to feel better

I believe I am beginning to feel better. I have been exercising more consistently and have been trying to keep my protein up and eat, but eat less at any one time and think that is helping my physical and emotional health. These past few weeks have been torturous on the entire family and it is going to take some real time, but think I am starting to come out of it all. Losing dad felt too much like when I lost Sue, but now that time is passing and i am doing things to not only keep busy, but improve my emotional state and mental state it is really helping.
I enjoy exercising and am doing all of this for me. Call it selfish, but if I don't take care of me, no one is going to to and I have to love me before I can love God or anyone else and cannot help anyone else if I don't love and take care of Lin first. I think as Christians we are sold a bill of goods by feeling and teaching like we have to love ourselves last, because if I don't love the Lin that God created, then how can I love Him or anybody else; I cannot.

4/10/10

Really tired this morning

I am just tired out this morning and feel like doing nothing at all. I think all of the events from dad's passing and subsequent funeral this week have left me just emotionally drained and feeling a little overwhelmed like I did after Sue died. I guess as much as I don't want to admit it, a part of me died when my daddy did and am having to come to grips with this.
I am going to church in the morning with mom and am not looking forward to getting up as early to go to the early service, but this si the service she enjoys and told her that it was her call and I would definitely go with her. I am in the process right now of looking for a new church home and am waiting to hear from some friends of friends who are supposed to be contacting me about going to a new church over near where I used to live and am really excited about it because I have been listening to some of the sermons from there and it is good stuff and ahve heard really great things about the church. I have decided that if I have not heard anything by the middle of the week, I will give the church a call to see about getting transportation. Surely there is someone that lives near me that could give Major and me transportation to the church.
I think if I go and get on my bike here shortly and ride for a little bit that might help me get a little more motivated as well.