A stressful week

This has been one really stressful week. If I don't see the insdie of a hospital again for a while, it will never hurt my feelings and can only imagine how my dad feels. His Parkinsons disease has been in full force and we had no idea that he was not getting the balance of nutrition that he so desperately needed and that caused all of his medicines to back up into his liver and then once he started getting the nutrition he despeartely needed, his body started metabolizing the meds and he started overdosing on them and that really started the problems we saw earlier this week when we thought he was gone. He is still not out of the woods and will be getting the peg for the permanent feeding tube in the morning and that will be a good thing. Now if my mom will chill out a little bit and start listening to the four of us and even the doctors, things will not be quite as stressful. I know she loves my dad and I highly commend her for the way she is taking care of him, but it has gotten to the point of being over obsessive and possessive and that is causing problems not only within the family, but with the doctors there in the hospital as well and am happy to see that a couple of the doctors are really taking charge with her and are telling her that this si the way that it has to be.

Really overwhelmed

I feel really overwhelmed and stressed this morning. I think it comes from the fact that we are having church here in my house tonight and just don't feel ready. I have been wondering since last night if I should go to Forest Lake this morning because we normally get out so late and then it will be a rush to get back home and then get things polihsed for church tonight. I just feel like taking a nap right now and clearing my mind, but at the same time I feel like I don't have time and on top of everything else, mom called me right about 8:00 to invite me to lunch. I really wish that that she would not wait to the very last minute to invite me. I had to tell her no because there is just n o way I can go to Forest Lake and then go to her house and then come back here in time for getting the house ready to worship.
I am just praying that God calms me down a little bit and know that it will be all right. I am a little nervous about tonight because I know we will be talking about where the church is headed and I am afraid that there are going to be some hard things shared since our pastor has decided to abandon us and I really do not want to hurt his lovely wife Theresa in the process as well.

Tired tonight

I think that the subject line says it all. My mother-in-law and a friend of hers were here this morning and most of the day and they did get a lot accomplished and they even found the original copies of the wills and wished that I had been able to find them back in March when I needed the original copy of Sue's will.
I am just hanging out for the weekend and am looking forward to having church here on Sunday night as well.

Utterly exhausted this afternoon

For some odd reason I feel really cynical tonight. I ahve been seeing too many posts from non genuine two faced people and I am just sick of it. I think that the last straw was something i saw from "well meaning friend" that sounded churchy and I think I just lost it.
I am so sick and tired of people that say one thing and then do antoher and that even includes the church. If you say something, then for goodness sake, mean it and not come off looking or sounding pompous and two faced.
I guess I just needed to get this off of my chest before I went to bed.

I am feeling extremely blah tonight. I am not really sure why and part of it could be the rainy and dreary cold weather we ahve been having and part of it is just being lonely. It has been so quiet here in the house and I am miserable. I know that people are looking for someone for me to date, and I am frustrated that I am not dating someone. I know some people have told me to wait as much as two years, and I am sorry but I am ready to get on with my life. I realize that Sue was a special person and will never find another one like her and will never replace her, but feel like it is time to get on with my life too.
I am looking forward to dinner at church this weekend and then the week after Thanksgiving will be going to a Christmas dinner at the support group for gastric bypass patients and that should be fun because Theresa and Susan are going too and that will be fun and trouble all at the same time.

Feeling blah today

I think that the subject line tells it all. I feel really blah today and ahve felt that way for a couple of days. It seems really quiet in this house and that may be why I feel so stinking blah. Yesterday was seven months since I buried Sue and I am sure that has a lot to do with it. I would love to say it was a nightmare that I am just now waking up from, but don't think that is reality too. In some ways I would just love to stay here in the house and go nowhere, but know that is not healthy mentally for me. I did get on my bike and ride for 32 minutes this morning and that felt great because I felt like I needed to ride.
I am just going to take it easy this afternoon and just see what happens.

Feeling down tonight

I am feeling kind of down tonight. It seems so quiet here in the house right now and cannot stand it. I am really missing Sue right now and even if we were just watching tv, it would seem more lively than it normally has been lately.
I know that I am goi8ng to go through some of these feelings from time to time and I do remember the good times as well.