Depressed this morning

I am kind of depressed this morning. My sister called me around 5:45 telling me that my dad was at the emergency room again and his pneumonia is back with a vengence. It looks like Christmas is going to be spent up at the hospital again and this is not the way I wanted to spend Christmas. I wish that I were in the Bahamas right now and could just disappear. I knew that it was going to be much harder this year because of Sue not being here, but this is getting ridiculous. I know that daddy cannot help it and I cannot help feeling the way that I do and am just praying that God would go ahead and take him home and just let him out of his misery. I think that this would be so much easier on my mom in the long run and the rest of the family even though they do not know it.
When I die, I want to just go like Sue did and not have my family have to worry and watch me die like we have been doing with dad for the past several months. It is just emotionally wiping everyone out and we need a break.

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