Really missing Sue today

I am really missing Sue today. I watched a Hallmark movie that I recorded Sunday night and it was the kind of movie that I would have watched with my wife. We loved sitting on the couch sharing popcorn and watching a good sappy and family oriented movie like the Lost Valentine. I guess I ahve been suppressing feelings I have had and today more than lately really miss not only the love that we shared, but the companionship of a loving woman.
I really miss being married and I guess with this being February and Valentine's Day almost being here, I want someone in my life to share it with and knwo that even sitting here I have not voiced that to the Lord like I need to. It gets so lonely here and quiet here that I can hardly stand it and then there are some days rthat I am just fine.
I know that I am dealing with things much better than when she died nearly two years ago, but then after interacting with people who have lost spouses, I feel like I am starting all over again at times too, and maybe that is a good reminder of what I had and what I truly lost.
I think that this must be God's way of reminding me that He is always there to take care of me and that he will provide for me int he right time and I need to depend on Him even that much more.

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