I think that this says it all. I really miss my sweet angle. It has been two weeks since she passed away and it has been some of the worst and best days of my life. I am so amazed at my family and friends who dropped everything and came running and I so appreciate that, but I still miss being married. This adjusting back to single life really sucks, but I also know that God allowed it for some odd reason that I may never see until I get to Heaven.
I know that she is no longer hurting and know that she was depressed for quite some time and now she is whole and is with her brother and dad. It still hurts and the thought of having to go intot he bathroom where I found my wife lying on the floor face down already dead is still pretty hard to take and even going by the grave has been hard, but is something that i need and definitely want to do so that I can preserve her memory.
I remember the good memories and found the music box from the flowers I sent her for Valentine's Day and that really brought a smile to my face knowing how much she loved that and how much fun I had surprising her and not letting her know what Cynthia and I were up to and that was so much fun and would do it again in a heartbeat as well.
I know that in time, my heart will really heal and have to go through what I am going through now and God and my family and friends will definitely carry me through